How You Can Live Your Dreams While Folding The Laundry!
by Kristen Magnacca
I walked into the laundry room and stumbled over the piles that seemed to have multiplied overnight… “How does this happen?” I asked out loud. I felt victimized by the laundry. The two large darks and two white piles melted together and created one large mound of dirty laundry. My “laundry area” seemed to have become the barometer of how much I was in balance, mind, body and soul!
An orderly laundry area showed a full time working mother in a Zen state of alignment. House clean, children fed, meditation and prayerful time completed and a happy husband, work tasks completed or in a state of completion, friends connected with and a bit of fun too.
When the system is in a highly functioning state; life is good.
Then, as quickly as the state of homeostasis was achieved, it seemed to be able to fall rapidly into total chaos! No clean undies or socks, draws devoid of clean clothes, work clothes crumbed on the folding table and no milk! For me, it was the laundry that seems to just be able to tip the scale of balance and send me into a severe hissy fit.
I cursed the laundry.
One day while picking up a piece of “dirty” clothes that I knew for sure was a “change of mind” piece that got tossed into the dirty laundry bin instead of put back in a drawer because they “didn’t want to”…I decided a change must occur. Not in my family members, but in the way I was assigning meaning to the task of doing laundry. Somehow it became me against them.
One of my favorite quotes is from Wayne Dyer: “When you change the way you look at things the things you look at change.” In the instant of bending over to pick up the laundry and having a flash of irritation at that family member, I made a decision to change my associations to this situation!
I thought to myself, if I had a houseguest staying with me, would I be as annoyed at doing their laundry for them? What if, let’s say, Jesus was staying at my house. Would I get annoyed that he wore two pairs of socks in one day?
I responded out loud with a resounding “NO!” Then, in that moment, I made a decision. I shifted my thoughts away from being a victim of this human chore and instead lumped it into the category of doing my “spiritual work,” which for me is caring for the people I love the most in my life, by providing them with clean and ironed clothes. The result was that my feelings instantly changed.
Don’t get me wrong; I still have my moments but I’m able to re-frame them back to the gratitude of my service. It takes practice, but I now realize I’m the person that benefits the most from this exercise.
So, how can women of this amazing generation balance our hearts’ desires (a.k.a. dreams) and stay grounded on earth while completing our day-to-day tasks with all their challenges?
Is it even possible to systematically strengthen the connection to the big picture of our dreams and follow your soul’s calling while grocery shopping?
How would that look, feel, or sound? I’ve found there are ways to create a system of connecting to your soul’s purpose of dreams on a daily basis and I would like to offer you a few strategies that can be integrated into your activities for daily living.
Surrender to the order and chaos of life!
We have to learn to accept the “Good, Bad and Ugly” of our journey because without all of these polar opposite we wouldn’t have contrast. The duality of life is truly the spice that brings lessons for change and growth. If we view a flat tire, delay from traffic or a cancelled flight as an opportunity our life would feel different.
One of my coaching clients shared with me that she was upset at herself for being stuck in traffic because she should have left her house earlier and made herself late for an appointment.
I replied, “Have you ever thought that you were supposed to be late in order to meet someone that perhaps you would have missed if you were on time? Or perhaps the traffic slowed you down on purpose to keep you safe?” There are gifts in what we perceive as obstacles; we just have to train ourselves to be open to them.
In an instant you can change your associations to a given situation by changing the answer to our consistent unconscious questions of “what does this mean?” and “what should I do?”
Associations are the pictures, sounds or feelings that you hold in you mind regarding a situation or object. Using the laundry story, I was still asking myself on an unconscious level, “What does this mean? What should I do?” But I shifted from perspective on the piles of clothes from being reactionary to proactive. Thoughts coming from the light not fear.
Try using a pattern interrupt, an internal question that changes your response. A year from now, will this matter? Or, is the way I am responding helpful or hurtful to others and me? How about, am I reacting from fear or from love? Is there light in this response?
This little strategy helps you realize that the obstacle (the laundry) isn’t the real villain. The problem is your response to the situation.
Gratitude is defined as the quality of being thankful, and readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.
Integrating the gratitude into the moment helps ground us in the present. Wavelengths of gratitude will attract more gratitude, love and balance into your life. It is impossible to harbor anger or resentment when you are focused on gratefulness.
Simply writing down in list form ten things that you’re grateful for each day creates huge shifts in your day and life. Allow your daily gratitude list to become your mantra to refocus your thoughts on what you have in your life, not what is lacking.
Living on Purpose
What is your daily intention? An intention is defined as “a thing intended; an aim or plan, as in, she was full of good intentions.”
By taking a moment in the morning and setting your intention for the day, or for a daily activity, meeting or appointment, you become a beacon beaming out into the universe what outcome you want.
Maybe you are about to have a challenging conversation with your partner, husband or co- worker. Take a moment and state your intention regarding the conversation, such as: “I will listen to Harry’s point of view with compassion and an open heart to come to a fair decision.” You set the tone for the exchange already with the help from all the angels!
Daily Nurturing Item
I love Leo Buscaglia’s quote: “Love yourself—accept yourself—forgive yourself—and be good to yourself, because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things.”
The truth of the matter is we need to fill ourselves up FIRST to be able to care and do all that we do for those around us. This can be achieved by creating a habit of nurturing yourself daily. It is a simple strategy of choosing one thing each day that nurtures your mind, body and soul.
For me, it is the fact that I heat the milk for my coffee in the microwave for one minute and uses a milk frother (which costs all of $14.99) to froth my milk and then add my coffee. My own personal heaven of a frothy coffee!
One client I have who is a nurse decided to treat herself by purchasing 25 cents worth of penny candy at the hospital gift shop each day that she eats while she is doing her work. Another woman’s item is a hot bath each and every night, and yet another wonderful lady walks for a half hour each day.
So, what little thing can you do for yourself each and every day that will uplift you?
I know you’re probably saying, “How can adding more things to my “to-do list” help me obtain my dreams?” I speak from experience, these strategies might feel like work in the beginning but shortly they’ll become a part of you, and the abundance of light you pour into yourself will amplify out into the world attracting your heart’s desire at lightening speed! So Buckle Up, Sistas! It is going to be an amazing ride…in clean clothes!Return to Holistic Health page
Kristen Magnacca is a mother, author, entrepreneur, speaker, life coach, and expert on the emotional aspects of infertility.
Kristen and Mark live on Cape Cod with their children, Grace and Cole.
She published her first book, Girlfriend to Girlfriend: A Fertility Companion in 2000.
Love and Infertility, Survival Strategies for Balancing Infertility, Marriage and Life, published in 2004, is the recipient of The Hope Award 2009 for Best Book from RESOLVE.
Kristen has been featured on the Today Show and in publications including Woman’s World, the Boston Globe, WebMD.com, About.com and Pregnancy.org.
Kristen invites readers to contact her through her website
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Strategies for Living