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Living Whole: Real, Not Forced. . .

by Maggie French

It is again Spring. The daffodils along Route 6A are in bloom.

Cape Cod reemerges from its winter slumber this time each year, bubbling up from deep beneath the sands of our beaches. No effort is necessary to bring it out, simply being with its natural process, its flow, one experiences all the Cape has to offer: its dunes, its beach plums, its pink sunsets. The flowers that bloom along roadsides and meadows.

With Easter so early this year, the stores have been displaying forced daffodil plants for a month, enticing us with thoughts of green and yellow.

I read that when flowers are forced to bloom early, it's difficult to get them to bloom again. Is it possible that being forced before your time to blossom, be real, may have you beautiful in the moment without an ability to sustain the image?


Like a daffodil, does your true Self appear and live in the light of this life, moment by moment, year in, year out when flowing naturally? Forcing your uniqueness may have you shining briefly only to fade, for it was too strenuous to sustain. The forced daffodil bulbs of Easter look wonderful but are gone too quickly after the excitement of the day passes.

We are driven to grow up, succeed, have. Leaving us to believe forcing ourselves in all these things somehow is the way to being real. I ponder the phenomenon called Facebook that pushes us to connect with friends, such that it becomes a contest of the number of friends one has, the development of actual friendships lost in the push.

We live in a world of instant and infinite connectivity. Daily we are bombarded to be authentic. We are led to believe when we are, we will be noticed. We will stand out in this instant infinite, a somebody.

There are self-help courses in "making your Facebook page original," to have you noticed above all the rest. So you quickly buy what they are selling to have your page bloom, yet still you have less than 500 friends, and are spending four plus hours per day keeping up.

There are ads upon ads proclaiming that being an ideal weight and wearing designer clothing demonstrates how natural and healthy you are. The effort to sustain this image eliminates everything from your life that truly is you, including the fuzzy slippers and 3-Cheese pizza. It is grueling. It is tiring. It is expensive. And, most of all, there is always something lurking in the shadows that can take it away.

Feel, Flow...

How do you find your authenticity in the bombardment of all that tells you what is "real?"

Feel, simply feel. Allowing yourself to feel your realness, being aware of when what you are doing flows, sensing what feeds your spirit, awakens the uniqueness that is you. Is it listening to music? Wearing hats? Playing the ukulele? Sitting quietly with the falling rain?

Woman worshipping the sun

Going out to "find yourself," force the music, the hats, the ukulele, will forever be a strain because it does not come from deep inside. The real you sits waiting for the pushing to cease. What is you, simply wants to be its Self and accepted by you. It simply is, and when cultivated, nurtured to grow naturally, you will be all that it is.

The daffodils of Route 6A are just pushing their way through the ground. Green sprouts hint to us of the impending yellow riot. With it we will have weeks of their lovely yellows. They will burst onto the scene that one sunny, warm day to parade before us all the true beauty that is a daffodil.

When they fade, followed by the blooms of the tulips, it will not be for being forced, because their realness appeared in their appropriate time, unhurried. They can sustain their beauty and recede into the background, enabling other flowers to shine, confident for their realness that they will bloom again next year.

Being real will have its moments, if allowed to develop within you naturally, in your appropriate time. While circumstances may make you feel faded, and recede you into some background, the realness will still be there within you, going through a natural process of blooming and hibernating.

You need only acknowledge your Self, your real nature, and the world around you will take you into the natural flow of living. There is a time to shine and a time to remain dormant. It is in this quiet cycle your real self grows strong, sustaining you through your next rebirth when again you will bloom as the daffodils of Route 6A do every year.

Please share your thought and comments on this article on the Living Whole Coaching Blog

All Photographs Courtesy of Maggie French

A whole life is about finding your balance.

Living Whole Coaching's focus is to assist you in identifying what creates your stability. What do you value? What is your reason for being? What do you want to accomplish?

Living Whole Coaching has individual and workshop offerings for the exploration of the answers to these and other questions that will bring harmony into your living and the means to live whole.

Schedule Your Complimentary Consultation

A Complimentary Consultation is an opportunity for a 1-to-1 personal consultation to experience the power of coaching to bring personal growth and
balance to your life.

Call 774 212 1826 or email Maggie to schedule a Complimentary Consultation today.

Experience the Power of Coaching

What Is Your Question of Balance?

The concept of balance is simple, the way may be complex. Below is this month's way to stability and calm

Last month's exercise was to help in reawakening what is of value to you. What did you learn of the things that are important to you? Amazing how they get lost in the day-to-day, yes? Have you also noticed that your new awareness brings your values more into the forefront? Good for you!!

This is the first step in building the Framework of Work. Work is more empowering when it sustains your values. It clarifies why you get up every morning to do the work you do.

Now on to the second step: Why you do what you do. What skills and talents are your unique signature? When asked this question is it similar to when someone asks, "Where do you want to go for dinner?" Do you blank, fall back to the old standard, then once you sit down and order you think, "Oh, there was that other restaurant I wanted to try."

So, let's walk through a list of skills and talents, circling those that resonate with you, similar to what you did with the Values Assessment.

The two lists are available for download below.

Top 60 Soft Skills

Your Talents

This time, instead of sitting with your choices and seeing where they arise in your day-to-day, spend 15 minutes of quiet time and identify three times you were "In The Zone"; three times in your life - personally, professionally, and/or socially - when you were confident with what you were doing. A time you carry with you always.

Once you have identified these times you were "In The Zone" share them with someone you feel will give you honest feedback asking them to name the skills and talents they hear as you describe what you were doing during these events.

Compare the responses you receive with the skills and talents you circled. Where do they match? What ones were shared with you that you hadn't thought of and now see they are among your talents and skills. Create a list of up to 10 skills and talents you have to offer in the working world.

Step 3 – The Framework of Work That Sustains continued.

For other tools and exercises click here.

Do you have a question on how to sustain your balance? How to live whole? Email your questions and together let's search for an answer.

Maggie French

Maggie French is a certified, ICF-credentialed coach. She specializes in work/life coaching, because "If you want to makes improvements in one, there will be effects in the other."

Maggie collaborates with several organizations on the Cape including WE CAN, the Harwich Chamber of Commerce and the Cape Cod Chapter of ABWA.

Visit maggie's website:

You can reach Maggie at 774 212 1826
or email her at